Career Day at School

I can guarantee that either they won't let me back or that the school is going to get calls.
I go into my kiddos 1st grade class all ready to chat about me, myself and I.
Christopher introduces me as his mom and that my job is "Mom."
True but I also talked about being an actor, founder of itsgoodtobethequeen.com and a writer. I flashed my headshot, the Ladies Home Journal article proving my Queendom and that I'm not a crackpot (at least in regards to that, yeah, right, who am I kidding?) and my column in the latest copy of Dallas Child.
After all this extravaganza the first question I get is, "How much money do you make?"
"Enough to buy you and your whole family, sweetie."
Then I say, "I am the richest woman in the world."
I overhear one kid say to his tablemate, "That's because she does commercials."
I ignored it and went on to say that I have 3 boys and a husband who love me. "A house, you don't see Mrs. England living in a cardboard box, do you? I have food to eat, you don't see me digging in the dumpster behind Tom Thumb, do you? I also have this school, this church, I love God and he loves me." Okay, the Jesus thing was a bit much but considering the audience I threw it in there.
'Hmm," the impertinent child says. "Okay."
I'm surprised she didn't ask me if I had a 401K and was worried about the current economic situation.
Ahh, such is our conspicuous consumption, credo of entitlement and inexistant idea of responsibility for one's actions world.