Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Nephew Diaries - Day 2

How could something so good go so bad?
The day started out fine. I kicked open the door to their bedroom at 6:30 and they fell in step with my two youngest. (The first kid was at swim practice. I drove him there. At 5:30 am. Nuf said) They got breakfast, got dressed, jumped in the car and off we went to drop my two at school 
All was well until after lunch when I decided to venture outside with them. 
At the grocery store the little one starts swinging like freakin Olga Korbut on the steel bars that run alongside the register.  After I tell him not to he decides to focus his attention on the claw game at the front of the store. He pushes by the little old lady in front of us practically pinning her to the counter and gets a face full of her fur coat. She spins around and glares at him like Cruella DeVil.  I grab his arm, spin him around and tell him, "Say 'excuse me' Liam." "Squeeze me." One would think that the mink maven would have been impressed with the manners lesson, but no. She glares at me until I sputter, "Hell, those kids aren't even mine." To which she replied, "Aren't you lucky."
I drag them away from the claw machine and into the parking lot.  As we are walking past the car parked next to ours Liam must have decided that he wanted the attention of the older gentleman sitting in the passenger seat. WHAM! I turn around and this kid had slammed his open hand on the guy's window. The guy jumped like he was hit by a taser. I just know he was waiting for his wife while she picked up his heart meds.
As we peeled out of the parking lot I decided for the sake of the fair people of Dallas that I would not take them to the library.
Now my kids are home. They are all in the TV room playing Rock Band on the Play-whatever my nephews brought with them. And yes I realize that they are now armed with drumsticks.  My 7 year old keeps yelling at 4 year old Liam. Collin is singing along to "Psycho Killer" by The Talking Heads. One is slamming on the drums like it is a chicken breast he wants to saute for dinner. I'm sure the resulting noise will be the soundtrack to tonight's nightmares.
My oldest is hiding in his room. 
I hope he opens the door and lets me in.

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