Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Pampering the Queen


Fellow Queens,
Every once in awhile you have to just drop all your royal duties and take care of yourself.
Did you hear that?
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
The laundry can wait, dinner can be take out, duct tape can be used. Whatever it takes.
So recently I decided to treat myself to some new makeup. At this point in my life it is a good investment. I have gone from a casual sweep of powder and mascara to a serious tape and bed as to not scare the neighborhood children.
I popped by the department store and a few moments later was the proud owner of some fancy schmancy concealer, tinted moisturizer and a brand new makeup brush. I love it. No longer feeling like a hag I face the world in all my fresh faced glory.
Until yesterday.
I was following my beauty regimen. I swished on my moisturizer with dainty circles with my new brush. And then casually glanced in the mirror.
Wait.
The blinds must not be open all the way. After adjusting them, sunlight now streaming into the bathroom, I glance again.
It is true. I am blue.
Not an Avatar blue. More like a Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory blue. A bit ashen though. Possibly zombie chic.
Thankfully, after a good scrub it washed off. The only shadows left behind are the familiar dark circles under my eyes.
My search for the culprit was futile. No one is owning up to this one. I am on the lookout for any suspicious looking brush strokes on Prince #3's artwork.
And in the meantime I know exactly where the green food coloring is. I just hope it doesn't get slipped into their zit cream.


3 comments:

James said...

Hi my name is Gwen (mom of 4 boys.) I was ambushed by a sweet lady at the farmers market a few Saturdays ago, upon seeing our cart full of boys, she admonished me to check out your website. I am just now getting to read your blog(did I mention 4 boys)it is so funny and astute. All attempts to find a website and "join" your blog have failed...broken links I am assuming. I would love to follow you somewhere facebook, twitter, or here on your blog, would you post a link to your current working professional social networking info
thanks for sharing your humor and wisdom (I am going to use that lying bit you used on your son, some day if/when I get lied to. it was brilliant. McDonald's can be a powerful tool for change if used wisely.)
sincerely Gwen Thompson

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I was wondering if you had any advertising or guest post opportunities available on your site? I would love the opportunity to work with you and I look forward to hearing back from you.
Thanks,
Emily
--
Emily Patterson
Communications Coordinator
Primrose Schools
epatterson@primroseschools.com

Ancil said...

i bow to you royal highness :)

http://drgonzoviews.blogspot.com/