An open letter to the son that stole my meager sense of style:

Really? I mean, REALLY? 

I’m not sure which one of you testosterone addled boys were in my closet, but I am not amused. 

Not like I go out often, but every once in awhile I like to dress like I am real human being. One that wears snappy shoes. One that was going to wear her stylin’ espadrilles. One that was excited about said espadrilles because they would hide the non-existent pedicure induced talons.

I put on the shoes and couldn’t lace them up. Why you ask? Because someone has taken the black shoelaces.

I don’t care who or what you tied up but put the laces back on my shoes and no questions will be asked. 

That is all.