Sunday, May 5, 2013

Anti Ant

Ya know, sometimes they just don’t get it.

Prince #3’s Godmother Suzy was coming for an overnight visit three nights ago. So I did what every mother of boys has done. I went into his room with a broom, stiff armed everything off all flat surfaces and swept it all into the closet. I also cleaned Prince #2’s room and the Man Cave but simply shutting the doors. I highly recommend this cleaning method.

Prince #3 just came into the kitchen with one of his plastic toys that had obviously been residing in the front yard prior to getting thrown on the floor in his room.  “There’s ants! EVERYWHERE!” he screams like a little girl.  Literally dripping from the former Nerf gun now ant apartment is a stream of ants peeved that their day has been uprooted.  
“Get that out of the house NOW!” I yell.
He sprinted to the front door, sprinkling ants the entire way through the house and chucks the toy on the sidewalk.  As I look at the moving trail of ants who abandoned ship in my living room I say, “What in the hell are those white rice things they are carrying.”
“Hmm. Looks like larva. Cool” says Mike the neighbor who just happened to be at the front door.
“Larva? Oh, sweet God!” I shriek hysterically.
They all just look at me like I am crazy.
“Yeah, so? We’ll fix it, Why are you screaming?” says Hubby with a casualness usually reserved for picking which T shirt to wear that day.
“I live in a frat house!” I yell as I stomp off to my office.

Now I sit here, squirming, imagining ants literally in my pants pondering these questions. What am I more upset about? That my Princes’ rooms are bio hazards? That they probably exterminate as well as they clean? That they JUST DON’T GET IT?

Or maybe I’m just upset that there was, for a brief moment, another Queen in my castle.

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