Summer, oh where will the time go?

“Oh, we just LOVE summer,” a mom recently chirped in the car pool line. Is she kidding? I understand not dealing with homework, getting up early and making lunches but come on. Maybe they just send their offspring to military camp for the summer. Maybe Camp Nana-Papa is in session for three months. Whatever their reasoning, I think they are on crack.

I have already given the boys my summer speech. “I am not Julie the cruise director from Love Boat. She ended up with an awful drug problem and that is not what we want for Mommie Dearest. Make your own fun.” We will see how it goes. My goal of the summer is to make it until August 25th without police tape around our property.

So as we reluctantly creep towards the first days of summer, here are a few boy stories for your entertainment.

My 16 year old wanted to have his very first girlfriend of 2 weeks over. They decided that they wanted to go to the store. As they walked home, finally, after a 3 hour stroll to the store around the corner, he calls me on my cell. "Mom. Michelle got hit with a branch. It looks like a hickey. What can we do to cover it up so her mom doesn’t see it?" Welcome to 16 year olds. – Queen Angi.

I'm outside pulling weeds while Garrett is playing around by the front porch, ringing the doorbell and having a great time. I'm not looking at him for 2 seconds and when I look back over he is holding something in his hand. Initially, it looks like a bunch of weeds that I had pulled. I look closer. It's not weeds.IT'S. A. DEAD. BIRD!I run over to him and grab him up and he WON'T DROP IT! I am violently shaking his hand and yelling at him to drop it and he won't!!! By this time I am freaking out, I rip the disgusting thing out of his hand and run us both inside. All the while he is screaming his head off because I took his beloved toy away. I scrubbed our hands until they were practically bleeding!!
I hate birds. – Queen Kathy of Rockwall, TX

My 4 year old recently discovered a couple of mostly full quart paint cans, and a (thankfully!) mostly empty gallon can of paint in a storage closet in our home office, along with a hard hat my husband had from a job site. My son's preschool recently studied construction as a topic. He apparently learned about hard hats and their purpose. On the day he found the paint cans, he had gone to use our bathroom by our office, and shortly thereafter I heard a loud thud. Since the little one was with me, and I heard no crying, I waited until he came out to ask. Then I heard it two more times. I decided I should check it out. I found my 4 yr old wearing the hard hat, and a spilled quart of paint on my carpet. After the yelling, I was able to ascertain that he had decided to test whether hard hats REALLY protect your head by holding the paint cans above his own head, and dropping them on his head while wearing the hard hat!!! Unfortunately, one of the small cans was not closed well, and it popped open when it hit the floor. Incidentally, he says the gallon size can still hurt when he dropped it on his head. Queen Rachel -Dallas, TX

Reign On My Queens!
Queen Linda