Stove, dishwasher, fridge and the like

What's this?
Hubby asked his sister about new appliance discounts she can get through work?
Whatever for?
I happen to enjoy cramming a plastic army man into a slot on the top of the washer so the clothes can spin. I use his leg to reach the button. His head was blown off a long time ago.

What's wrong with our refrigerator? It stands like a beacon in all it's almond color glory seducing the boys to empty it of its bounty daily.

And the stove? So what if I, in a rare moment of cleaning frenzy, I used a new scrubber and scratched all the paint off the control panel the first week we had it. So what if I, in another cleaning moment, I activated the self clean feature which then made the oven emit a loud buzzing sound for all eternity? I think it is a sign from the appliance gods that I should never clean again.

So what if every time we run the dishwasher we get Lake Ford on the kitchen floor? One night the water extended to the dining room. We will be in talks with the City of Dallas to discuss Lake Ford as a water source soon.

Grandad's coffin freezer still works. Although I do have nightmares that a crazed killer breaks into the house, murders me and then dumps my body in the freezer. I am found a few days later when the boys look for corn dogs.

Hey, the microwave works fine.

In my opinion, until the appliances are off life support and still have a glimmer of them working, they stay.