Monday, November 30, 2009

OMG Edward! OMG Jacob!

Looking back, what was I thinking?

I took two 13 year olds, my niece and my son, to see the vampire movie Twilight Saga: New Moon. After school. On opening day. Again, what was I thinking?

In case you have been under a rock since 2005, let me bring you up to speed. Stephanie Meyer is the author of a series of four books called Twilight. The epic romance of the human Bella and her never ever, ever, ever, ever dying love for the bloodsucker Edward are wildly popular books. As in 85 million copies sold popular. Think Harry Potter for chicks, but Harry and Ron would be way hotter.

And no wonder, the book's prose is superlative. Bella says, "Though I respected the need for maintaining a safe distance between my skin and his razor-sharp, venom-coated teeth, I tended to forget about trivial things like that when he was kissing me." As cheesy as a Mexi-Melt at Taco Bell, yes?

When we arrived for the 4:45 showing the place was packed. Every showing that night was sold out. If you don’t get tickets online maybe you can see it after Christmas.

A sea of girls dressed either a tad goth or adorned in Twilight t-shirts swarmed the theater vying for the best seats. A hush fell over the crowd as the house lights began to dim. And then -applause. Really? Wow, these girls are hard core.

The first time Edward’s ebony frame filled the screen the shrieking started. Only a pig farmer hears that much squealing. Sara Grinbergs, 13, of Lakewood said that at her showing, “EVERY time Edward came out they screamed. I’m more of a Jacob fan.” I’m on Team Jacob too. That is until I found out that the actor was 17. I think that is a felony in most states. “Well, he’s young enough for me Mrs. Ford,” says Ms. Grinbergs. Little whippersnapper.

Elise Horsak, 13, saw the movie twice over the holiday break. “The first time there was a lot of screaming but not so much the second time.” I guess the hard core yelpers were there early.

The movie did mess with a few long standing myths. According to the movie when vampires get in the sun they sparkle. What up with that? I was waiting for the guy to sizzle like a chicken McNugget in the deep fryer at McDonald’s. They don’t turn into bats and fly either. Edward and company had a garage full of Volvo’s. Safety first.

My son Matthew’s take on the whole thing? “It wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen. But I wouldn’t reccomend to guys.” I truly believe that he had a good time girl watching. When asked his opinion of the girl screeching he reports that it was, “Funny as hell.”

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