Queen Linda’s Annual Holiday Gift Suggestions

Here it is my Majesties! Queen Linda’s Annual Holiday Gift Suggestions!

These toys are 100% boy approved. And even if you don’t want these little playthings in your home, I know you have demon nieces and nephews to shop for. Pick which sibling you hate the most and order away!

#5 Snot Shot

I love the way the manufacturer advertises this little gem. “You no longer need to stick your finger up your nose to fire globs of gooey snot at your friends.” And don’t forget, it shoots up to 40 feet!

#4 Owl Puke

Shopping at this website, Gardening with Kids.org sounds like a lovely idea. You envision a gift that can teach the kids how to plant flowers, lower their carbon footprint, grow hemlock. Not so. The Owl Puke kit contains a owl pellet promised to “contain the skeleton of at least one owl meal, be it a mouse, vole, shrew, or small bird.” Bone-sorting tray included.

#3 Mr. Mouthy Mouth

I never knew they named a toy after my boys! This is a finger puppet that has

squishy rubber gums, teeth, tongue and bulging eyeballs. If they could get the eyes to roll it would really be my teenager.

#2 Squidgy Maggot Maggot Blood Ball

I’ve never seen real maggots. Hopefully this would be the closest I ever get. This little treasure ships from the UK. But worth it. Cheerio!

#1 Radio Controlled Nasty Hairy Rat

This lifesized faux rodent sports an evil looking face, snarling teeth and beady eyes that glow red when he moves. Want to clear those loitering relatives out? Here’s the ticket.

I’m off to get my credit card.

Reign On!

Queen Linda