Saturday, December 12, 2009

Outing Santa

Fellow Queens!

Depending on how old your boys are this may be the year that they ask you if Santa is real. I was able to make it to ten before I figured out that the simple logistics of getting toys to every good boy and girl in one night where not in Santa’s favor and that my parents must have been his accomplices all those years.

And what about the toys? Every time you see elves on TV or in the movies they are working on wooden choo choo trains and jack-in-the-boxes. How could they possibly have made my Easy Back Oven?

After a few years of sliding by with a rousing “If you believe, you receive!” the jig was up. When Prince Tim was ten he came to me with a very serious look on his face and said, “Mommy, you have never lied to me. Tell me the truth. Are you and Daddy Santa Claus.” Never lie to him? Boy is that kid snowed.

Actually I was pretty greatful that he made it to 10 before he asked me about it. I guess he wasn’t listening when that little brat announced to the preschool class that Santa was a sham. I immediately pegged that four year old as a future inmate.

Realizing that there was no way out, I spilled the beans. He had this half injured, half understanding look on his face. Then he turned to me and said, “Are you and daddy the Easter bunny too.” “Yes honey.” He gave it one last hopeful try. “Tooth Fairy?” Yes I said, completely ending a part of his childhood. He was pretty stoic about it and promised not to tell his brothers. My 8 year old Prince Christopher still believes and the older two have fun helping put together bikes and Transformers for him. Goodness knows, no eggnog slugging Queen should even attempt to put together a Schwinn on Christmas Eve.

if you want to extend the beauty of Santa just a little more I suggest this new book The Truth About Santa: Wormholes, Robots and What Really Happens on Christmas Eve by Gregory Mone. Using science and technology Santa’s seemingly impossible tasks are simply explained. Mone says, "Santa's suit is laden with what are called metamaterials, which have the effect of bending light around a person so that they turn invisible."

And speaking of books and the tooth fairy, our royal scribe Sheri Bell-Rehwoldt’s book So You Think It’s Easy Being the Tooth Fairy is up for grabs. Check it out.

And finally send me or post the crazy things your boys have asked for over the years and I will put them in next week’s address.

Reign On!

Queen Linda

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