Monday, August 20, 2012

I am living 50 Shades of Grey.


I have tried to hide it, but I just can’t anymore. 
Come on, be honest, its not that taboo is it? It is natural. I know other women who do it. And some don’t, and that’s okay. I say do whatever you are comfortable with. I guess the worst part of it is that I blame my children.  They are the reason I am living like this.

Wait, you don’t think I’m talking about that racy trilogy by EL James, do you? 
Eww, no. 
I am referring to the fifty shades of gray hair that I am now sporting after a summer with my sons. 

Here is how I got some of those silver streaks.

“I’m bored.”
“Mom, can I try driving on Central now?”
“Mom, I don’t know what that orange blob on the ceiling is.”
“Mom, I don’t need a shower, I just got home from the pool.”
“Mom, I simply dropped my retainer and it broke apart. I swear!”
“Mom, the wet towels in the washer smell. Why? They’ve only been in there three days.”
“I’m bored.”
“Mom, do you have any money?” 
“Mom, I can make armpit fart noises with my hands behind my knees.”
“Mom, can the guys spend the night?”
“Mom, drive us to the mall”
“Mom, when is Shark Week?”
“I’m bored.”
“Mom, I think I recorded over that show you like.”
“Mom, can I have a javelin?”
“Mom, why isn’t there ever any food?”
“Mom, while you were gone I got a crew cut.”
“Mom, tuition is due.”
“I’m bored.”
“Mom, can we see The Three Stooges at the dollar movie again?”
“Mom, I’m sunburned! I did re-apply! This stuff must be expired.”
“Mom, did I tell you I needed that sports physical done last week?” 
“Mom, when is beach volleyball on? Those girls are hot!”
“Mom, it doesn’t say it on the school supply list but tomorrow I need 10 rolls of paper towels, three gallons of hand sanitizer and 14 boxes of Kleenex.” 
“I’m bored.”

On EL James’ website it states that Fifty Shades will “stay with you forever.”

Not me. The first day the kiddos are in school I’m going to the salon for a sassy cut and color.

1 comment:

The Crackpot said...

"Can I have a javelin?". Ha!